I was exercising just now doing these PT stretches for an injury I have. And it was nice. It felt good in my body and in my mind (it’s gratifying to be doing something good for myself).
So, I’m breathing in and out consciously as I do them and it’s great.
And then, out of nowhere, comes the thought: “Oh, God, how am I going to keep doing these every day for the rest of my life?” And then these other thoughts come: “Oh, shit, what if I can’t do them for the rest of my life? What if I don’t stay committed to doing them?”
Because I might not stay committed to them for another day, never mind the rest of my life. I get interested in a lot of different things, get into a lot of different things passionately, and inevitably don’t stick with some of them.
This is a common problem for people with ADHD. (It’s a common problem for people without ADHD, too, but less intense.)
I get very excited about something, go to town with it, then lose interest. I mean, just lose interest.
Because I have a history of this, it’s even harder to kick my discouragement about being able to stick with something new.
And then I remembered about doing life one day at a time.
And, even though I totally believe, with my best logical thinking, that we are always only ever in the present, I struggle to stay here (in the present).
Intellectually, I know that we can only affect change in the present. But, even though I know this to be true, I don’t live like I know it to be true.
I spend quite a bit of time burdened by worries about a future that I can’t control.
But one day at a time, most things aren’t that hard. They’re doable.
It’s such a mind fuck (if you will), to be unable to be in the present, in the present: to be worried about how you’re going to keep something up every day for the rest of your life.
Animals aren’t like this. My dogs don’t think oh, shit, how am I going to live not being able to go outside because we’re having a blizzard for the rest of my life? Or how am I going to live for the rest of my life with this cone around my neck the vet is making me wear so I can’t lick that cut on my belly?
No way. They aren’t projecting into the future. They are in the present. Whatever present that is. They accept it even if it isn’t great and they are in it. They aren’t burdened by thoughts of the future. They’re in a continuous present.
Most humans have a hard time staying present.
It’s harder for some of us that for others of us. And harder some times then other times.
In 12-Step programs one day at a time is a big thing. They say, you can do anything for one day. And all you ever have to do is one day. Not really even one day, but just one minute, one second, the present moment.
Yet the mind throws up thousands of thoughts a day that block me from being in the present moment. And, I mean throws up.
As much as I resist quieting the mind, it helps so, so much: even that one minute of breathing your apple watch will remind you to do.
So does consciously feeding your mind thoughts about constructive things, especially before sleep: Positive self-talk is very effective for me. Drenching myself with affirmations about staying present makes an impression on my unconscious mind and helps replace some of the disquieting anxious thoughts about the future with some positive ones.
I’m getting there/here!
