According to psychologist Rick Hanson, author of the New York Times bestseller Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence, our brains lay down neural patterns rapidly when negative events happen.
To be clear: when something bad happens to us, our brains (somehow) physically embed thoughts of the event in pathways (of some sort) in our gray matter. These neurological pathways allow us to recognize the same danger very quickly the next time we see it. They also enable the painful experience to make a big impression on us — we can be badly shaken from it for a long time and be unable to let it go quickly or easily.
Our ancestors’ brains evolved this way to survive: If the dangers didn’t make a big impression on them, they could perish (because they might not recognize danger fast enough).
And our brains still behave this way.
On the other hand, good things happen all the time – from the merely pleasant to the powerfully good – but they don’t make as big an impression on our brains. Something great happens, but unless it’s on the scale of a massive lottery win or relief after a cancer scare, the good thing doesn’t stay with us long. We’re happy about it, but we quickly move on to the next thing.
To counter this, and lay down positive neural pathways that will guide us to experience positive emotions more quickly in the future, Hanson recommends savoring the positive.
When something good happens, says Hanson, don’t just let it pass. Dwell on the positive experience, for 30 seconds at least, focusing on how nice it feels: how happy you are that it happened. Hardwiring happiness like this this will cue your brain to lay down neural pathways of positive feelings and ultimately help you feel good more of the time.
